Tales From the New World
by Advocaat
Summary: A collection of Hope/Light oneshots, mainly set post-LR. Contains much silliness.
1. Cuddling

**Tales from the New World**

A Hope/Light Collection

#1: Cuddling

"Hope, what are you doing?"

Hope smiled widely and his eyes seemed to actually sparkle as they looked up at her from her lap. "I'm cuddling with you."

"I'm not a cuddly person," she countered, frowning down at him with a cocked eyebrow.

"On the contrary, I find you very cuddly."

Lightning rolled her eyes but didn't make a move to push Hope away. If he found lying with his head in her lap the most productive way to spend his day, who was she to rain on his parade? "Don't you have work to do?" she said with a sigh as she brought a hand up to run her fingers through his soft, silver hair. The afternoon sun caused the pale strands to shine like moonlight.

"I am working," was his reply. He closed his eyes, enjoying her touch. "This brain never stops."

Lightning let out a short chuckle. "You're such a kid," she said fondly, combing her long fingers through his bangs.

"I'm older than you," he pointed out with a teasing smirk.

She rewarded his lip by poking his forehead. "Then shouldn't you be out there looking for a girlfriend instead of hanging out with jailbait like me, old man?" she teased back.

Hope opened his eyes and met hers with an amused twinkle. "You're my girlfriend."

Lightning raised both her eyebrows. "Is that so? I wasn't aware."

He shrugged, but that playful smile never left his face. "I meant to tell you."

Lightning rolled her eyes again and used both her hands to squish his cheeks together. "Is that your way of asking me out?" she asked, her own cheeks pinkening slightly.

"That depends," he replied, fish-lipped from her hold on his face. "Is it working?"

"Give me three good reasons why I should say yes," she demanded, removing her hands from his cheeks to rest them on his forehead instead.

Hope closed his eyes again. "Hmm..." he said, making a show of thinking over her request. "Well, you can stand me. That's a pretty good reason," he offered.

"That's one," she counted.

"And I've known you for a millennium," he stated. "I know all your likes and dislikes."

"Two."

His smile turned soft and he opened his eyes to look at her adoringly. "I love you."

Lightning's breathing hitched and she looked away from him as an embarrassed flush spread across her face. She brought up a hand and covered her face bashfully. "That's a good reason," she mumbled into her palm.

Hope lifted his arm, pulling her hand away and forcing her to look at him. He smiled brightly, seeming entirely unashamed of his unexpected confession. "So, is that a yes, then?"

Lightning nodded once, swiftly. "Sure."

They heard Serah squeal excitedly from inside the house and shared a blush.

* * *

Hey, all! I've decided to make a collection for the less-than-story-length Hoperai ficlets that pop into my brain. Not all of these may be set in the New World, but I'm sure many of them will be as I very much enjoy writing about post-LR Hope and Lightning.

Enjoy!


	2. Hiking Down Memory Lane

**Tales From the New World**

#2 Hiking Down Memory Lane

**Note:** This is a collection, so unless otherwise stated, each story featured here has no connection with any other story in the collection.

Snow pushed branches out of the way while Fang smacked at low-hanging vines with her staff, clearing the path for the rest of their friends. "Boy, this brings back memories, doesn't it," the large man remarked with a grin.

"This new world is just as much of a jungle as the old one," Vanille agreed chipperly. "Lucky for us the monsters are a lot less nasty," she added with a giggle.

"Still, we should watch ourselves," Lightning—now "Claire", although her friends still mostly preferred to call her by her old name—warned. "We never know what could be—Hope, what are you doing?"

The pale haired young man looked up from the book in his hands and gave Lightning a confused look. "Huh?"

"Don't read and walk at the same time," she scolded. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"But Light," he protested, "this author's proposed some real ground-breaking theories about—"

"The science can wait, kid. Right now's adventuring time!" Snow cut him off, smacking his fists together eagerly.

Vanille giggled again. "Hope's the only thing that's changed from back then."

"That's because Hope's the only one outta y'all that's grown up," Sazh stated, crossing his arms over his chest with a smirk.

Snow let out a hearty laugh at that, looking entirely unashamed. "That's true. Remember how much trouble the kid had keeping up back then?" he said, ruffling Hope's hair fondly. "And now look at him! All grown up and talking back to Lightning."

Hope batted the bigger man's hand away and scowled at him. "At least I _did_ grow up," he retorted.

"That temper of his is still the same," Fang chimed in with a chuckle as she smacked away another vine.

"But only towards Snow," Vanille added.

"You want to see Hope with a temper, you should've been there after Serah died." Noel decided to include himself in the conversation.

"Oooh, yeah," Snow agreed, tugging at his collar somewhat nervously.

"After Serah died?" Lightning questioned. Both her and her younger sister looked a mix of confused and curious. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing," Hope said quickly, shooting the blond and brunette a warning look.

His warning went unheeded. "He was maaaaad," Noel said with a shudder. "Hope never struck me as the violent type before that, but..."

"Guys..." Hope tried again, his voice dangerous.

"After Serah died and it became clear that you weren't coming back," Snow said, addressing Lightning, "he just kind of flipped out."

"Right," Noel agreed. "Those beasts from the chaos came and for that whole first year he was like '_Rage! Rage! Rage!_'"

"It was intense," Snow supplied.

"Yeah, and Snow was totally useless at the time because he was grieving over Serah's death, so it was up to me to handle the crazy-train over here," Noel said, pointing at Hope with his thumb. "You can't stop a crazy-train."

Snow threw an arm around Hope's shoulder and grinned. "This guy mercilessly mowed down those fiends for months before he finally calmed down and started using his head again," he continued for Noel. "It was grisly. And after that, he got all creepy and withdrawn. Rarely pulled his nose out of a book."

Lightning and everyone else who hadn't been there at the time looked shocked. The ex-soldier looked at Hope with disbelief in her eyes. "Really?"

Hope looked uncomfortable. "I don't exactly remember that time too well," was his response.

"He was looking for any way to bring you back," Noel took up the baton again. "He was convinced that everything could be fixed if you were there. Which was true, now that we're looking back on it, but Snow and I weren't really of the same mindset back then, as you know..." he trailed off guiltily.

Vanille grabbed everyone's attention when she clapped her hands together and made a cooing noise. "Oh, that's so sweet," she announced, looking from Hope to Lightning. "He never stopped believing in you."

Lightning's cheeks reddened, as did Hope's.

"But it's hard to imagine Hope going into a murderous rage," Serah, spoke up, bringing her index finger to her lips thoughtfully. "I just can't see it."

"Those two are probably exaggerating," Lightning said, crossing her arms and giving Snow and Noel a look. "Anyway, let's all leave this for another time and focus on the task at hand. I'd prefer to reach our campsite before dark."

* * *

Later that evening, the group was setting up their tents and chattering merrily around the campfire when Yeul lifted her head and looked searchingly around the camp, a confused expression on her face. "Guys, where's Hope?"

Meanwhile, deep in the forest a short ways from camp, a tall figure chuckled and flicked blood off his gleaming boomerang as he stood over the corpses of three enormous brown bears. "I'll teach you to get close to Lightning," he said lowly, his pale green eyes flashing wickedly in the moonlight.

"Meh, leave him alone," Snow brushed off the question with a shrug. "I'm sure he's fine."

* * *

w00t! I wasn't expecting to write another dribblet so soon, but here it is. This is just a short, silly thing, but I hope you enjoyed it regardless.


	3. Dub You All to English

**Tales From the New World**

#3 Dub You All to English

**Note**: This oneshot is set during the events of the first game.

* * *

Hope slowly opened his eyes, wincing at the pain in his head. "Owww..."

"Hey, are you okay? That was a nasty fall you took back there," a light female voice cut through the pain.

Hope looked to his left and saw Vanille on her knees next to him, looking concerned. "Ugh, yeah, I think so," he answered, rubbing his head where'd he'd struck it. "What happened?"

"We were fighting a caramel mousse and you got thrown into a boulder," she explained, offering a hand to help him up.

A _what_? Hope remembered battling a flan... Was Vanille giving strange names to the monsters now? "I see," he said, ignoring his friend's oddness. He took her offered hand and allowed her to pull him to his feet. "Thanks, Vanille."

The redhead cocked her head to the side and regarded him strangely. "Vanille?" she repeated questioningly. Then she giggled. "Is that a nickname you came up with?"

Hope looked at her, puzzled. "Huh?" he said intelligently. "No, that's your—"

He was cut off by Lightning who suddenly came rushing up to them, simultaneously sheathing her gunblade. "Vanilla! Is Hope okay?" she questioned urgently.

_Vanilla?_ Hope mentally repeated, perplexed.

"Yes, he's fine," Vanille answered. "Just bumped his head."

"Ah, Light," he called, waving her over. "Did you defeat the flan?"

Lightning looked at him strangely and started to say something, but then Vanille suddenly giggled again and said, "Oh! When did you and Lightning get so close?"

Hope was once again confused. "What are you talking about?"

Before she could answer, the rest of the team came rushing over, all wearing concerned expressions.

"Oy, Hope, you alright?" Fang asked.

"Tou-chan was so worried!" Sazh announced, and the chocobo chick in his afro popped out to kweh in agreement.

_Tou-chan? _"Sazh, who's—" Hope started, but he was cut off again.

"Everyone back off and give him some space," Lightning directed. "Vanilla, you should probably cast care on him just to be safe."

_Care?_ Hope looked from Lightning to Vanille and then around to the others. Something was wrong here.

"Hey now, nee-san. Don't fret so much," Snow piped up. "Hope's a tough kid."

_Nee-__san__?_ Hope was quickly reaching the end of his rope with all the strange terms his friends were tossing around. "Okay, what the heck is going on here?" he demanded crossly. "Vanilla? Tou-chan? Nee-san? _Caramel mousse_? What on Pulse are you all talking about?"

Everyone stopped talking and stared at him blankly for a long moment.

"Hope must've hit his head harder than we thought," Vanille remarked, regarding him with pity in her eyes.

Hope furrowed his eyebrows, annoyed. Were they playing some kind of joke on him? If so, he certainly didn't get it...but maybe if he played along they would stop. "Haha, real funny, guys," he said, faking a laugh. "You got me, so you can quit it now."

Vanille's expression didn't change. "But nobody's joking," she said, confused.

"Wait a minute," Lightning spoke up, her eyes widening like she'd figured something out. "Doesn't something about Hope seem weird to you?" she addressed the question to the others.

"Come to think of it, his manner of speech is usually much more polite," Sazh observed, stroking his goatee thoughtfully.

"And he called me Vanille earlier," Vanille—or was she?—added.

"Right," Lightning agreed. "And he's been referring to all of us by our plain names. Hope doesn't do that."

"He does that to me," Snow protested. He was ignored.

"I think..." Lightning said, bringing her hand to her chin thoughtfully. "I think this might not be our Hope."

"What do you mean, 'not our Hope'?" Vanille looked lost. Hope's knew his own face mirrored hers.

Lightning lowered her hand and looked Hope straight in the eye. "I think this is the Hope from the English version."

A gasp came from the whole group. Hope paled. No, it couldn't be...

"Wait, but if this is their Hope..." Snow started, his own eyes becoming wide.

"Then where's ours?" Vanille finished.

* * *

Hope groaned. His head felt like it had been smashed in by Snow's fists.

"He's coming to, Lightning," he heard Vanilla's voice.

"Eugh," he moaned, clutching his head. "Vanilla-san? Light-san?"

He cracked an eye open and his vision landed on a rapidly-becoming-disturbed-looking Lightning.

"Oh no..." she groaned, putting her face in her hands.

* * *

This one was just general crack. Not much to say about it. I live in Japan, so obviously I'm familiar with the Japanese versions of the games. I own all three in both languages.

Sorry this one wasn't really romantic at all. I'm sure the next one will be. ;)


	4. Not Exactly Stockholm Syndrome

**Tales From the New World**

#4 Not Exactly Stockholm Syndrome

**Note:** This oneshot takes place pre-LR, after Bhuni abducts Hope. For the sake of humor, we're going to pretend that Bhunivelze can feel certain emotions here.

* * *

Bhunivelze was having a very bad day. In fact, the past week had been awful. He'd recently kidnapp– _hand picked_ a mortal to be his vessel among the humans, but unfortunately for him, that vessel was proving to be a stubborn little prick. The almighty god had spent the last six days trying to beat the defiance out of him...to no avail.

Hope Estheim, as the man was called by his puny mortal brethren, was possibly the most recalcitrant little shit to ever breathe. He simply _would not_ give in to divine Bhunivelze's will. On Monday, the god had tried gentle persuasion. That had worked about as well as Barthandelus in a supermarket. On Tuesday, he had tried positive reinforcement; "If you agree to submit to me, I'll give you a cookie.

It's rainbow chip!" That plan had only caused his capti– _guest_ to laugh in his face. On Wednesday, he tried Chinese water torture. The brat endured it and glared fiercely at him the whole time. On Thursday, he busted out his Lightning Farron double, and for the next three days he'd used it to try and break the brat's spirit. Using this approach, he finally seemed to be making a bit of progress, however Hope Estheim still refused give in completely. He still clung to sanity like a behemoth to a gorgonopsid steak.

Today, crankier than ever after losing precious sleep over the matter, Bhunivelze had fallen back on one of the most ancient and proven methods of subjugation—a boot to the head. One of Lindzei's gimmicky, tasseled, cowboy boots to be exact. (And dammit, Bhunivelze _told_ Lindzei that if he left his sissy-ass cosplay crap lying in the middle of the floor _one more time_ there would be consequences.) Now the little human twerp was lying unconscious on the ground and Bhunivelze was concerned that he might've accidentally killed him. Great going, god of light. Real smooth. Mwynn, this was just what he needed. Why were humans so goddamn _fragile_?

But then, to his relief, the body of Hope Estheim twitched and his eyes blinked open, somewhat unfocussed, but hey, that didn't matter so long as he was alive.

"Ugh, what hit me?" the human spoke, clutching his head with one of his hands. Good. Bhunivelze hoped it was painful. The man's eyes seemed to focus then and he caught sight of Bhunivelze.

The god smirked down at the pitiful mortal, silently gloating his success at finally fazing the little bastard. He was about to say something witty and triumphant about his divine might, but then the brat frowned at him and said, "Who are you?"

Bhunivelze was seething now. What the _frick_? Had this human forgotten him? How could this stupid monkey gaze upon his holy self and ask such an asinine question! Bhunivelze needed no introduction. The whole universe was ingrained with the knowledge of his glory.

"Dude, you're kinda gross-looking," Hope Estheim continued, tilting his head in confusion. "Are you, like, a clown?"

Bhunivelze opened and closed his mouth a few times, completely thrown and utterly furious at the cheeky little maggot sitting before him. How _dare_ he.

"HOPE ESTHEIM," the god snarled, his voice nearly trembling with rage.

Before he could continue, however, the human made a face and said, "Hope? Is that my name?"

All at once, Bhunivelze's rage was replaced with confusion. The mortal didn't remember his own name? _Why_? Wait, could this be the condition that humans called amnesia? Could it have been caused by his injury?

The god observed his captive with the slightest trepidation. Almighty as he was, Bhunivelze found himself unsure how to handle this new situation. "Yes, you are the mortal known as Hope Estheim," he confirmed.

The human's frown deepened. "Wow," he said, his tone thick with wonder. "My parents must've hated me."

It was Bhunivelze's turn to frown. "No, your parents..." The god stopped abruptly and his eyes widened in realization. _Wait a minute,_ he thought, the wheels in his head turning rapidly. This could work in his favor. It was the perfect opportunity to fuck with the kid. "I mean, yes!" he amended enthusiastically, his lips curling into an evil grin. "Your parents hated you very much. In fact, they abandoned you as a child and left you to be raised by wolves."

"Wow, really?" the mortal said, sounding surprised and somewhat alarmed. "Jeez, that sucks." He smiled then, throwing the god for a loop once again. "Hey, but wolves are pretty awesome."

Bhunivelze's brows furrowed. "What? No! It wasn't awesome, it was terrible. Wolves have absolutely no manners. You grew up to be a graceless heathen."

To Bhunivelze's chagrin, the mortal actually seemed fascinated by his story. "No kidding? Huh, I probably wasn't liked much, then."

Bhunivelze smirked, seeing another opportunity to mess with his captive. "Indeed. You were especially hated by the woman _Lightning Farron_ and her comrades."

The human's face fell. "Aw, that's too bad. With a name like Lightning, I bet she was pretty hot."

"Yes," the god affirmed, his smirk growing. "She was the sexiest babe on the planet. You were really missing out. Such a shame that she hated you so much."

The mortal cocked his head to the side thoughtfully. "Yeah, that blows," he agreed. "So, where is she now? Maybe I've still got a shot."

Bhunivelze resisted the urge to laugh in maniacal glee. "You'll never reach her! She's frozen herself in crystal atop my despicable daughter's throne."

All at once, the mortal's eyes narrowed calculatingly and a smirk appeared on his face. "I see. So, Light's alive, huh? Now that I know that, there's no way I'll ever submit to you."

Bhunivelze's mouth opened in outrage. This puny human was playing him! "CURSE YOU!" he bellowed, curling his long fingers into fists. "How dare you play God for a fool! You shall suffer!"

Yes. Bhunivelze, almighty god of light, was having a terrifically terrible day.

* * *

Yay for crack! This time I even got Bhuni involved. Nyuk nyuk!

Hope you enjoyed it!

Peace!


End file.
